A loving tribute to the memory of my sweet baby Jellybean Lollipop (Kennel name-Tallulah Sunrise 2005-2011), my rescue Bull Terrier who passed on 6th April 2011 after losing her brave battle with kidney failure. RIP my angel until we meet again, mummy loves you.
Our journey began 3 years ago after a phone call from Joan Kenway of Bull Terrier Welfare, she asked if I could take on a young female Bull Terrier still in her previous home needing to be re-homed as soon as possible. So Tilly as she was called then joined my family. We renamed her Jellybean Lollipop on the way back from collecting her because she was such a sweetie and I love Jellybean Factory Jellybeans!
Jelly was overweight (which made her a great pillow), had bad teeth, undershot jaw, smelly breath and a dolphin shaped marking in her red fur. Cassini, my other rescue red female, has a stingray shaped one so this was fate! My vet Martin Brice diagnosed a heart murmur which had gone unnoticed at her old vets and he let me devise an exercise and feeding protocol to tone her up and ease the bowel issues she had. Feeding this young girl was no problem she really loved her food but I had to work on her food aggression as well as her other issues.
Jelly had hyper-excitement issues, meaning if she saw a blade of grass (no, not kidding) she would tip from normal to yowling to high pitched incessant barking looking like she was high in seconds. Wow what a chemical rush this girl was getting! It made my mini Bull Terrier Koda stress and he wouldn’t go near her in the fields. It took approx 6 months of sub trigger/threshold work, positive reinforcement and retraining to get her to the point where I could open the car without her exploding out and making open area visits calm and pleasant for all of us. Kodas reactions and her passing out a few times were enough to motivate me early on to sort it out. She had hormone related reactivity issues as well!
Food aggression was quick to sort out, as was the hyper-excitement with toys. Leading a sub threshold life is not easy but I owed it to all of the dogs, us as well as a responsible owner. Jelly was a joy to live with, she was compassionate beyond compare and taught me this in a way no human has. Her playful, sweet, loving attitude gave us joy and helped me cope when I got stressed and my Asberger Syndrome (it’s on the autism spectrum) took over. She would nudge a dog, any dog if was hurt or seemed fearful. She would nudge us humans if we were not happy, she would come and lay down with you if crying and she would give calming signals galore if arguments broke out in the house, she was like me; not happy to be touched unless asked for and didn’t like confrontation. In fact she would nudge on walks, nudge when washing up or cooking. It was as if she was checking up on you, making sure you were ok. It wasn’t attention seeking there was care behind the nudge! I’d look down at her and her ears would prick up, so heart-warming. She was a lover not a fighter but would react to barking if barked at which I worked on with her to reduce it. She was lovely to train and work with; she did accompany me to work and met lots of friends because of it. She was shy, not scared shy but in a I’ll come to you if I want to then go away if that’s alright kind of way. Her recall was fantastic, aways came running back with a wagging tail and ears up, big smile and she walked by my side whenever I asked, kindred spirits.
When I felt she was fit enough to be spayed, I took her in to the vets and asked for pre-op blood screen. That’s when I was told the bad news. She had creatinine elevation and an ultrasound revealed she had congenital kidney dysplasia. An irreversible condition which was treated remedially but she would eventually go into full renal failure. To say I was devastated was an understatement but she was immediately put on medication, I changed her home cooked food to reflect the lower protein and phosphorous levels she needed and began the long road of keeping everything potentially toxic to her out including some of the dog treats I used to buy and chemicals in floor cleaners etc. Hard to maintain but so worth it; she was my angel.
Jelly’s mannerisms were to me so unique. The only dog I ever met which liked her scruff grabbed and rubbed from side to side, was ticklish on her muzzle too. She laughed when you rubbed her belly; she had subtle expressions in her body language and eyes which she altered when communicating with me when she wanted something, whether it was a treat, a walk or toilet. She tranced all sorts of things, doors were a good one. If you said no to her she would give you the big puppy eyes that so many other dogs use with their owners too, they made her look so adorable that it worked every time, those big brown eyes could melt my stony heart! I let her get away with more than the others, she was my baby and I knew she had less time with us every minute was a blessing.
During the last few months she slowed down. I had to teach Koda & Cassini to walk slowly for Jelly. She damaged her Cruciate ligament and I took her to hydrotherapy at Chapel Farm Hydro Centre for treatment, which helped her gain strength back but she was still slow. Happy to go out, she slowly walked by my side. Our last walk was only a short one, but we had a bit of a play and she seemed happy but had lost so much weight and was weaker. The day before we moved I was worried about her, emailed Martin in SA she had no appetite, laboured breathing, lethargy; Signs of kidney failure. Busy packing I fretted over her, tried encouraging her to eat and take her meds but she did gulp down some liver cake. She stabilised a bit and I took her to the surgery first thing before the movers arrived. Stressed and upset we moved house while my Jelly stayed in the vets, I was thankful she was being cared for while so much was going on. We visited her and she looked so pitiful. There was no spark in her eyes. My Jelly was fading away. Leaving her there that night was gutwrenching but with so much to do at the house (it had been left full of junk and 2 years worth of dirt) I had no choice. Upset and distracted I went to visit the next day and Laura Frascarelli the locum vet and all the vet nurses were so good, patient, understanding took great care of vet Jelly but I couldn’t leave her there on her own another night. We agreed I’d take her home for one last night then bring her back to be put to sleep the next day. It was the most precious night. My friend Rebecca, Jelly’s original breeder as fateful luck would have it came to say goodbye, she had always loved Jelly who was the first born of the litter. Jelly had raging thirst but we slept and cuddled together the whole night and woke to birdsong and glorious sunshine. I was crushed beyond belief but could not see my best friend suffer any longer. She died with her head in my arms at 1.20pm 6th April 2011 and was buried in the sunshine where she had been sunbathing that morning. I felt it fitting, she was a sun worshipper. I had wrapped her in her favourite blanket, put in her Kong, some liver cake and water and cried until I slept, exhausted. As she also liked hosepipes and moving water I will save up to install a water feature in memoriam by her grave. The pain of losing her is like nothing I have ever felt before, I have not had an easy life and coping with the emotional turmoil is alien to me, but I believe she and I were meant to meet and teach each other the things we did. Fate. She plays happily at Rainbow Bridge, free from pain until we meet again. Goodbye my baby. I will miss and love you forever.
Thank you to my children, dogs and cat for letting me bring another Bullie baby home, without you I am nothing. Thank you to BTW, thank you to Martin Brice, Laura the locum, Clare, Lisa, Sara, Jody and the team at Emerson Vets, Clair Hucker at Chapel Farm and a special thank you to Rebecca for making Jellybean for me.
Today April 6th marks the 1st anniversary of Jelly’s passing. I still cry for her, my heart dog. I still miss her. I felt her presence in places she loved we visited for the first time since her dying, I know she she is joyful where she is free from her illness and this brings me comfort. I shall never forget how she never complained about her pain or how she gave love in such an honest way. Rest in peace sweet angel. Never forgotten,always loved.